being passive agressive to all the boys surrounding me. applied my finger fuck you lipstick. winning but cannot celebrate because we are in the turf of the enemy, and there is a big possibility that we will die if we do not fight back.
at around 12:30pm, outside our building along panay avenue, our security guard hailed and escorted me on a cab. I got in and heard the doors lock. I texted the cab plate number to my aunt as per usual. the cab was filled with strong lemon freshener scent. I immediately noticed the driver’s green face towel wrapped around his neck. he wiped his face with it. his pink cellphone beeped, so he grabbed it and read a message. I thought it was strange and unnatural for a driver to read a cellphone too low, on his left side, beside the door, like he was concealing it. a few seconds later, he wiped his nose with the towel, and did it repeatedly. he removed the towel from his neck when he felt that I was staring at him. but continued pinching his nose from time to time. I looked around his cab - nothing suspicious except for wine corks inside a net, hanging from the aircon vent. something was not right. about five minutes in the cab, we were on quezon avenue underpass, I felt weak and with dry mouth. At first I thought maybe it was the coffee I drank but I’ve only had one cup. I looked outside, there were no safe sites nearby to get off at, but there were MMDA officers. he kept texting the whole time and turning the knob of the volume control of the radio. my suspicions grew even more. I called my aunt and talked to her about documents (of all the things)! I continued talking on the phone as if I was still talking to my aunt. I thought I would put on a show until we get to a more crowded place. I acted like I was annoyed of the traffic, and I was calling someone telling that person that I will be in UP Diliman in 5 minutes and to wait for me in the lobby, etc etc, and some other nagtataray conversation. then I chatted with the driver and told him I was late already, and utterly irritated. he seemed agitated with me talking to him but still kept texting. endless bitching, and a few moments later, near QC memorial circle, he stopped texting. I got off at UP Diliman thinking that there were always security guards at the gate and there is only one route—- which is counterintuitive now that I think about it. note to self: avoid putting on too elaborate a show, do not get comfortable, and get the fuck down when there’s opportunity!
with a phone on my hand and gerber knife on the other since the time I got suspicious, I tried very hard to stay alert and conscious. the scariest part is that in the worst case scenario, I will not hesitate to stab him. fortunately, no harm was done, (maybe my acting / energy startled him) and I am home. except now, several hours later, whether or not it is because of “spray,” I am still enduring dry mouth / throat - a small price to pay for what could have been.
I AM GRATEFUL.
*cue Let Forever Be by Chemical Brothers*